Wiki - the super tripper

On this Friday night at exactly 3AM when I was incessantly clicking the 'random article' link on Wikipedia, I realised the immense trip value embedded in it.

I started off with the Kardashev Scale -

"The Kardashev scale is a method of measuring a civilization's level of technological advancement... The scale has three designated categories called Type I, II, and III. These are based on the amount of usable energy a civilization has at its disposal, and the degree of space colonization. In general terms, a Type I civilization has achieved mastery of the resources of its home planet, Type II of its solar system, and Type III of its galaxy."

Then came Mr. Arthur C Clarke, with his three laws of prediction:

1. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
2. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
3. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

And his fourth law:

For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.

Parallel to this is Gibson's law:

For every PhD there is an equal and opposite PhD.

In between somewhere, I jumped to "Star-lifting":

Star lifting is any of several hypothetical processes by which a highly advanced civilization (at least Kardashev-II) could remove a substantial portion of a star's matter in a controlled manner for other uses.

Finagle's law:

Anything that can go wrong, will—at the worst possible moment

Remember Mr. Murphy?

Hanlon's Law:

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Sturgeon's law (and without meaning disrespect, infact as a matter of offering my respects, I think Mr. Sturgeon was a seasoned stoner):

The first is: "Nothing is always absolutely so".

The second, and more famous, of these adages is: "Ninety percent of everything is crud." (The last word is typically misquoted as "crap".)

Occam's Razor, now famous thanks to Dr. Gregory House: entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity.... Occam's razor may be alternatively phrased as pluralitas non est ponenda sine necessitate ("plurality should not be posited without necessity").

Hofstader's law (he could probably be the only guy who beats Sturgeon):

Hofstadter's Law:

It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

And to end this post, the Drake's equation:

"It is an equation to organize our guesses about the potential number of extraterrestrial civilizations in our galaxy, the Milky Way. It is used in the fields of exobiology and the search for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI)."

And well, just as a reassurance, the Mediocrity principle:

The assumptions of mediocrity principle is the notion in philosophy of science that there is nothing special about humans or the Earth.

A post for the times when I did not post

I must admit I have not been too busy. On the contrary, time has been rather generous on me. Blogging, I realised, is just like my dual degree project - DDP - (it is a year-long project that one needs to finish in order to graduate and redeem the times spent during college) - when you start your DDP, there is a lot of motivation to keep working every day and finish it bit-by-bit. After a fortnight, it is "there is always a next week".

Nonetheless, I am thankful to three specific people for rekindling the blogging energies in me - Archana, who for reasons beyond my conscious understanding, likes my blog. Laddoo, who had the time and inclination to remind me, from halfway across the world, that my blog "needs attention". And my Mommy dear for diligently following my blogs without any attempts to 'censor' them to make it suitable for all ages. The tipping point, though, was this blog - one of my faculty member's blog. If a professor can find time to write a blog, so can I! For those who have read my previous posts, the same professor has been referred to, in a couple of previous posts too, albeit not in the most recommended manner - atleast not for a final year student with an incomplete DDP.

To be blogging on a Tuesday afternoon is sure sign of atleast one of the two things: an uncontrollable desire to write OR an outlet to kill time. I suspect it is a holy combination of both. My guess is that it'll stay this way for the better part of this semester - until May, or until I finish my DDP, whichever is later.

Why PPTs are important to attend

The resume and the interview process form a very integral part of the corporate recruitment process. No wonder, then, that you'll find every Harry and his kin writing books on self-improvement, developing communication skills, resume-writing and even interview-dressing. End of the day, it is about marketing yourself. Ofcourse, some may debate that it is about selling yourself. I believe marketing would be more apt.

The best form of learning is hands-on. Is that not why they say you need to have industry exposure before you do an MBA? In case of a resume-submission process, there might not be much room for error but there definitely are opportunities to learn from your immediate surroundings on how best to market yourself and how best not to.

Take, for example, the Pre-Placement Talks (PPTs) that are currently happening on campus. The idea is that each company will speak to final-year students and market themselves with the objective of luring students to join them. It's an exercise to impress (of which, another form is the recruitment process of resume-GD-interview).

The students read about the company and it's karma on their website and if the company is particular good or particularly bad, they read about it in the newspapers as well. So, when a company comes on campus to talk to the students, they have an hour or two to impress the panel - which in this case, consists of the students. The standard trick is to get a few recent graduates and ask them to talk about the company, get a hot-ish HR chick to run through the "what we are looking for" slide and get a couple of guys, who can talk. And talk in a manner that can save their lives if it comes to that.

And when you sit through these presentations every other day, bartering a considerable amount of sleep, it is hard not to make a mental note of best practices and worst practices, which is why I love attending these PPTs.

A few things that a company just MUZN'T do are:

• Paraphrase the sentence "We are the most awesome company in the world and we kick ass!" and repeat it every other minute. The rationale is: If you are so awesome, it is likely that we know it and anyway, saying it a trillion times doesn't make you more awesome, it just gets onto the nerves of people. [Resume tip to self: Do not SAY you are confident, smart and a team-worker; SHOW it through activities]
• Open the presentation with a guy who has no clue of how to keep an audience engaged. And worse, one who reads out his slides and carries a heavy Indian accent. It is like GMAT or GRE, your "level" is determined by the first few questions you answer and then it gets progressively difficult if you do well. [Resume tip to self: Highlight your best on the front page. By the time the resume-reader reaches second page, he would have already decided]
• Start at 5.30 PM and go on till 8.00 PM. What's that statistic about attention-span of human beings - 20 minutes at the most or the like. So, two and a half hours is 8 times of that! We hardly manage to pull through our 50-minute classes, how are we expected to sit through for over two hours and not loathe the speaker(s). [Resume tip to self: Keep the resume short and sweet. If you don't have anything to say, then don't.]

On a somewhat unconnected note, it reminds me of a quote by the marketing guru, Seth Godin "You can't fool all the people, not even most of the time. And people, once unfooled, talk about the experience".

What is a Writer's block anyway?

**Hiatus** is a word that comes to my mind. **Long** is an adjective that I may add to make it sound more attractive. **Writer's block** is a term that puts a nice cloak around my sudden loss of enthusiasm towards blogging and makes it presentable.

But, 10 days later, I am back on my blog. :-P

Oh, and a "define: hiatus" in your Google search window throws this up: "suspension: an interruption in the intensity or amount of something" - which, makes sense. Also, James Wales gives me a beautiful explanation of Writer's block. He/It says

Writer's block is a condition, associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. The condition varies widely in intensity. It can be trivial, a temporary difficulty in dealing with the task in hand. At the other extreme, some "blocked" writers have been unable to work for years on end, and some have even abandoned their careers.

So, the next time you are looking for a reason, use the above one.

To move over the inertia, I wanted something motivating to get me back to blogging. And it is here. The new batch of kids are here on campus. Anxious, nerdy, proud and day-1-arrogant freshers.

And here's a (new?) hypothesis I float: Freshies, by nature of their being freshies, are DUMB.

I wake up at 7 AM and drag myself to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and I find a guy happily staring into the mirror with a toothbrush in his mouth, while the water tap underneath is open and flowing. And at a volume flow rate good enough to force me to blog! This is not a one-off. Hopefully, the freshies will not disappoint me and provide enough evidence over the next couple of weeks to prove my hypothesis. Shall update here.

PS: Hypothesis: a tentative insight into the natural world; a concept that is not yet verified but that if true would explain certain facts or phenomena; "a scientific hypothesis that survives experimental testing becomes a scientific theory";

Quotable Quotes from my Viva

Prof. A: "You know what? Vikas was supposed to get a Nobel prize for his ppt, but last minute he got pipped." (Prof. A to Prof. B, with all his sarcasm in the world, when I just entered the Viva room.)
Me: Sir... Err.. Umm.. Err.. Okk.. Sir

Prof A: "Ya ya, Vikas will make a good ppt. So be very careful!", throwing caution to everyone in the room, for no real reason.
Me: Sir... Err.. Umm.. Err.. Okk.. Sir

"Vikas, I don't want a sales pitch. Better show me some meat." Prof. C after looking at my first slide.
Me: Sir... Err.. Umm.. Err.. Okk.. Sir

"So, you are basically saying that if we decrease usage of vehicles, we can save energy. Thats all?" Prof. A after I had explained for over half-an-hour on how we can save energy in the transportation sector.
Me: Sir... Err.. Umm.. Err.. No.... Sir

Me: "Sir, there are two sides to the climate debate...."
Prof. A : "That everybody knows. Tell me what you have done." (It's unfair! It's not common sense!)
Me: Sir... Err.. Umm.. Err.. Okk.. Sir

Prof. A."You went and worked with economists and became one yourself. I wanted you to convert them to technologists!"
Me: Sir... Err.. Umm.. Err.. Okk.. Sir

Prof. C. : "What you said over the last 20 minutes is just common sense. Show me some mathematical models"
Firstly, it was NOT common sense. I swear by god. Secondly, and I quote myself "But Sir, my company did not want me to develop mathematical models, they just wanted a framework."
Prof A. : "But that is what I want you to do: change the way they work!"
Me: Sir... Err.. Umm.. Err.. Okk.. Sir

Prof. A.: "Just because you are thanking me, don't think that I will give you extra marks", when I was at the Acknowledgements slide.
Me: Sir... Err.. Umm.. Err.. Okk.. Sir

Prof. B : "You should put the source of data in every slide, unless ofcourse you deliberately want to confuse us.."
Prof. A : ".. which he is very capable of."
Me: Sir... Err.. Umm.. Err.. Okk.. Sir

***************
Well.. you win some, you lose some.

It won't be a herculean task to figure out who was the BOSS today in the viva committee. And who was looking like a big big loser.

Well.. you win some, you lose some.

PS: Fellow mates can add their quotes in the comment section, or let me know so that I can add an _update here. :-)

PS2: An old post on quotable quotes from Inter-IIT Sports Meet 2007 can be accessed here

Getting the professors to meet

It's 5:55 AM on my watch. And I am thinking about the following:

If two professors (generic term) A and B, and a student have to meet, how do they decide on a venue?

In my specific case, the details are as follows:

• A and B are not from the same department
  
• A is a senior-ish Prof., B is an Asst. Prof.
• A and B do not know each other
• The student (me!) has to set-up the meeting

I am dumbfounded on how to decide the venue. I wonder how these things work.

By the way, it's 6:01 now.

PS: If it sounds trivial, I'd suggest wearing my shoes for a while and walking a few hundred meters.

Guns N' Cigars at Insti!

Two photographs.

One. I was walking from SAC to ICSR after attending some counselling intro talk for JEE. There was this dude (to be on the safer side, let me call him uncle) who was showing off a *pistol* tucked in his trouser. You don't see such things often in the insti. I don't think you are meant to.
I reckon he was a parent who had come down for counselling of his ward. But, it was evident that he had no intentions of hiding his little equipment. Anyway, after a momentary shock, I thought I should take a pic and upload it here! :-) And so I did.

Two. No prizes for guessing where this second pic is from. Though, you may warrant a guess as to whose hand it is in the picture. And which new brand of cigarette has just entered the market. Looking at the pic, I could have written another article titled 'How cigarette is clogging our system', but I think I am about 40 years away from that. For now, it just amused me!


I think it is an amazing marketing strategy to sell black-coloured cigarettes. It is an instant differentiator. Perhaps, if it was not black - I would not have remembered it and the guy/girl in the pic who bought it would not have bought it in the first place. Will we soon see pink and yellow coloured cigarettes also? Or do we already have them in circulation?

PS: I am also wondering if I will be getting anonymous commenters giving me gyaan on how IITians are addicted to cigarettes and all that. And how we are plundering tax-payers' money. And how we are a burden on the nation. :-P

Ok, anonymous, CHILL. I am just kidding. .And no, ofcourse not, we are not arrogant and pompous. :-)

Mommy's hint

My mom mailed me this couple of days back:
I think I should take her hint.

JEE 2009 Counselling - I

Of the few things that IIT Madras did not let me do in the past four years here, one was to let me interact with prospective students. But life came a full circle today. I am part of the JEE 2009 counselling here at the campus as a student counsellor - it is a true honour. And what an experience it has been!

So, there they were - hoardes of anxious students with the JEE counselling brochure.

What really struck me today was a fact that I had always known - the Indian higher education system, though extremely competitive and rigorous, does not equip you with decision-making tools. I could identify two very clear reasons. Firstly, parents are too protective of their children and essentially take all the decisions for their 'kids' even when they are 16, including important decisions pertaining to their careers. Secondly, the education environment does not encourage risk-taking, which implies that I would hesitate to take up an unchartered path.

Ofcourse, the students are not to be blamed. Atleast, not entirely. It has been going on for a good two decades that I have been orbitting the sun. Specifically, talking of the JEE - the system has been treated to be such a big monster to tame that once you clear JEE, most people think of it as an end. I did too, in all probability. Now here comes what I have believed to be the biggest drawback of the current JEE phenomenon:

The students slog their days away in their coaching institutes and burn the proverbial oil during the nights. For two long years. At 16, what you should really be doing is explore the world, meet new people, have newer experiences, learn the shortcuts of overcoming the vicissitudes, read books, play cricket, watch porn, ATTEND HIGH SCHOOL... these experiences equip you with tools to decide what your life holds out for you. They put you in a much better position to gauge yourself and take that extra step in the direction that your dad (and your neighbour and your distant cousin) would never approve of.

Unfortunately, we spend those precious two years - when our personalities shape up and our true character is formed - mugging derivations and solving the JEE 2001 10-mark questions. And that does manifest in rather unfortunate ways: your social behaviour patters tend to become obscure and in reality, you are ill-equipped to face the true world, outside IIT. (Ofcourse, the four years at IIT does offer umpteen opportunities to make amends).

Another striking realisation, rather re-realisation that happened today: there just is not enough information out there for people to take informed decisions. It is a very peculiar situation: you have to take probably the most important decision of your life and there just is not a guy you can speak to about it at length. Yes, the counselling is meant to dislodge this information asymmetry, but as a parent told me today "We have never heard of anything apart from Computer Science, Electrical and Mechanical, how can we then decide between Metallurgy and Naval Architecture." And ten minutes of talk with a prof or a student is just not enough! This leads to making the best of the situation - look at last year's rankings and decide. And because you hardly explore options, you fail to ask the right questions. Most questions tend to be: "Which is better, Mechanical or Electrical?" "What is the pay package?" and so on.

But. That is the stark reality. I do not see the status-quo changing any soon. So, while it is still possible, let me trip a little bit:

Highlights of the day:

• A parent hinting to me if it is possible to get a seat 'through other means' - on the day of admission, if someone does not join, can you help me to get that seat.
• A boy pops out from the blue with the Question of the Day: "Is Aerospace Nice?" Speechless at the amazing depth of the question, I stumble to my senses and ask "Nice? As in?".. then, he breaks all rules of logical argument and beats his own Question of the Day: "Is it easy?"
  
• "Is IIT safe.. I mean.. security is good?" This was the point when my heart said "Ofcourse not, there are landmines all over the place; I just saw three people dying when I was coming from the hostel. And Al-qaeda is recruiting from IITM this year." but I ended up saying "Ofcourse Sir, not to worry" with a polite, plastic smile.
• Most asked question of the day "New IITs or NITs?". Perhaps, the most difficult question to answer and I really do feel for the students - IT IS a tough one. I think they should give it as part of JEE. Too much choice has really spoilt the meal for these new guys. I posed the same question to a faculty member from IIT Madras who was representing IIT Hyderabad, his answer was "In four-five years, everything will become old".

In conclusion, (which is how GMAT expects you finish an essay) the experience was amazing - meeting new people, answering their queries and partaking in their decision-making process. But, saddened at the extremely passive behaviour of most students and because of which anxious parents take all the decisions for them - not a healthy sign. Nope.

PS: Saturday is the first day of counselling for General Category students and I am really looking forward to hard-sell IIT Madras! Will post soon.

Bengaluru v/s Chennai

The new whiz-kid on the block! ISC Topper:

"City boy tops ISC with 99.25 %" screams a TOI article. It turns out the city is Kolkata.

Disclaimer: You may stop liking me if you are one of those people who don't think evil people should exist on this planet. On the other hand, if you are one of my ex-es or their friends, you anyway don't like me, this post will give you one more reason.

Excerpts from the post:

Subhajit had succeeded in beating over 50,000 students to the top spot. With cent per cent marks in maths and computer science, the St Joseph's College student notched up 99 in physics, 94 in chemistry and 97 in environmental studies. He scored 98% in English and 92% in Bengali.

Surprisingly, the first look at the marks he obtained don't suggest they'll result in 99.25%. Indeed, (100 +100+99+94+97+98+92)*100/700 = 97.14 %.

Now, I wonder what's wrong. Am I missing something? Is there another subject in which Subhajit scored 114 out of 100 (which probably is not a feat considered worthy of a mention by TOI) so that the percentage makes sense? OR is it another of those TOI articles where they fabricate details/title to sensationalise the article? If it is latter, TOI needs to fire their chief sensationaliser. Notwithstanding that fact, 97.14 (or 99.25 as the case may be) is an amazing feat.

Subhajit Ghosh isn't the average nerdish topper. "He paid a lot of attention to what he studied, rather than how much. He spent time on solving question papers and also went through the study material other than his prescribed books. He only took tuitions in English and Bengali, the rest he prepared by himself," said father Subhashis.

OK, let me be mean. (Yes, you are welcome to leave those anonymous comments! :-P ) No one would come on national newspaper and accept that he is a nerdish topper. I was not, and I am sure neither were you! AND we all paid a lot of attention to what we studied, rather than how much. We all spent time on solving question papers and also went through the study material other than our prescribed books.

Tuitions! HAH. I did not take any tuitions, not even for English and definitely not for Bangla. Did you?

But here is the clincher:

The Kolkata boy is now looking forward to testing his academic mettle at the finest engineering institutes in the country. "I am looking at either studying aerospace engineering at IIT-Kanpur or mechanical engineering at BITS, Pilani. I've given the competitive entrance exams and I'm expecting to rank between 500-600 in the IIT-JEE," said Subhajit confidently.

This, IMHO, is the cue when we should all pray "Bhagwan iss ladke ko satbuddhi dena." If some dude (with a 99.25 TOI %) is getting a rank between 500-600 in the JEE, WHY, in this whole white world would he take Aerospace engg. There are no god-damn jobs in that department. And no Subhajit, you will not be working on Airplanes and satellites and shit like that. You won't even be recruited by Boeing or Airbus. I know you want to join NASA and emulate Rakesh Sharma but I doubt even if ISRO trusts an Aero engineer from an IIT. Next, Mechanical engineering from BITS Pilani? - IMNSHO - It will be a disaster dear topper. I am told their dream job is with John Deere. I'll leave the smart readers to figure out the rest.

And I almost missed this point: How can he so confidently suggest that he is getting a rank between 500-600 in the JEE. I am sure the JEE chairman himself may not be in a position to make such comments. Anyone who has written JEE can vouch for this fact. I think this is a result of all the fake ranks that the FIITJEEs and likes dole out on their website. But then, this guy is a whiz-kid, with a 99.25 TOI %.

Here's the wicked part of my post: (skip it to spare yourself the BP rise. If you are a faculty member in the anti-ragging department of IITM, you are prohibited.)

Here's my wish: I hope this dude comes out with flying colors and joins IITM and he gets Alak and he is in 357, (which will be empty next semester; I'll stay in 358) so that I can send him to Minar at 1.30 in the night to fetch Egg Biriyani! And r@g him till he breaks down.
MUHAHAHAHA. Worst case, if he joins IITK, I'll hunt him down in December during the inter-IIT and send him to their Minar!

[I used r@g because I don't want to end up in jail 'chakki-peesing' for ragging. What if the goons at MHRD have a Google alert for 'rag'?]

Food for a week

The plight of the under-developed nations in comparison with the developed nations is best illustrated by the couple of pics that follow.

Food for a week - Darfur refugees, Chad:

Food for a week, Germany:

I am sure the economic recession has no bearing on the people in Darfur, for they would not even know what a booming economy means.

Sourc: Peter Menzel, 2005.

THAT-WAS-THE-SEMESTER-THAT-WAS. >:-<


God, I can take it no more. Finally, I can see the light at the end of this tunnel. FOUR Months and innumerable classes later, I am on the verge of Breaking down. BUT I am not. It was an agonizing wait. It still is.

23 credits. This sem just sucked it out of me. I am glad, very glad that this Semester is over. I must admit the system sometimes just sucks up to you. You cant help but succumb to the pressures of the System. Classes. Labs. Assignments, Projects, Presentations, Term Papers, Quizzes, Submissions, Deadlines, Contests and Demonstrations. I am dead for all practical purposes. My mind is refusing any new connections, the server is not responding. Massive Shutdown is in progress. The Grey cells are History. The Processor has flared up.

Damn you Demon in the disguise of the Prof. You demand 75 percent attendance for that class of yours where its difficult to stay alive let alone awake. Your Incessant monotonous lectures are like the hum of the AC capable of putting to sleep even Lady Liberty in the US of A. That reference book which you refer, I have too. The library has n. So why bother dictating the same shit in class, neither you like it nor do I. Why teach the whole Root Locus method for months when a simple rlocus command in MATLAB7 can do it in a couple of clock cycles of my Dual Core. 8085, Yes that archaic Microprocessor my grandfather thought was old, why do you force me to mug up its Processor speed, Pin-out, Registers, Stacks, Pointers, size, weight, volume, density and its Gestation Period.

Why the f**k do you Mr old-bald-dickhead-IELab-Incharge call us to your lab? Just to say GET OUT? To give us a ZERO after the four months of fingering and fondling your Cathode Ray Oscilloscope. Five to Seven Thirty every Wednesday we were at your mercy, scared to part our lips for we feared your scathing remarks. Only If i could VETO, Veto.

Dynamics of Machinery, Enh?? The sort of enthusiasm that you show with that piece of limestone in your hand!!! I would radiate more energy while I sleep than you on the Dias. I know the Whitworth, I know the Pantograph and I know the IC Engine. I know not how you could radiate negative energy to shoo me off the class. THANKS for not taking Attendance. By the way, I know the CRANK, I know the CAM and I know the GEAR too.

Yes Ma'am. Charpitt's Equations. Simpson's, Gauss', Siedel's, Newton's. Everyone's Ma'am. UP THEIRS. I forgot to add Euler. Ya but you were a motherly Prof. You actually cared for the student's knowledge more than his attendance and grades. And SO did we Ma'am. Thanks for everything except the Math.

I can rant on.. endlessly. Thats because I have been there, done that. Better put - Thrown there, Forced to do that. This frustration had to come out somewhere. I could not go and tell the prof all this for he is gonna take 3 more credits next sem. I could not tell my peers for they had better versions of the same. It all boils down to this day. I will never have to go through the fourth semester of IIT in my life EVER again. Am I glad or what.

4th Semester. **Gun Shot** Happiness all around.

Curtain Closes.
#ADVERTISEMENT: Join 5th Sem for an even more painful, agonizing, strenous and miserable semester. #

PS: The Author of this post is a frustrated IITian who had 8 full-course exams in 10 days. Slept exactly 29 minutes between 6.16 am and 6.45 am everyday. He also got a ZERO in the aforementioned lab. He has made full use of the 75 pc attendance rule and was having 75.00 in two subjects, slightly less in a couple and he loves the two profs who dint take attendance.